New York’s State of Mind? For Teens, It’s Not So Great

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New York City has its share of challenges, from crime to homelessness. But speaking to reporters last month, Mayor Eric Adams pointed out another concern: social media.

"We need to protect our students from harm online, including the growing dangers presented by social media,” Mayor Adams said. “Companies like TikTok, YouTube, and Facebook are fueling a mental health crisis by designing their platforms with addictive and dangerous features. We cannot stand by and let Big Tech monetize our children's privacy and jeopardize their mental health.”

He wasn’t overselling it: In 2019, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) surveyed America’s teens and came back with an alarming report: More than one in three felt so despondent and listless at some point during the year that they skipped regularly scheduled activities. This was a 44 percent increase since 2009 and an indication that a major epidemic of teen loneliness was coming.

And then came COVID-19.

The pandemic hit everyone hard, especially adolescents deprived of social interactions at the precise moment in life when they were beginning to master friendships, relationships, and other components crucial to them. Emergency room visits for suspected suicide attempts, the CDC now reported, spiked by as much as 50 percent for teenage girls. And in 2021, about 20 percent of adolescents showed symptoms of major depressive disorder, a study reported in the journal JAMA Pediatrics found.

In short, what was already a bad situation turned worse, with American teens feeling hopeless and unable to experience a healthy time in their lives. This is true in New York as it is everywhere else in America.

So what should we be doing? To answer the question, we need first to understand what’s contributing to this mental health crisis.

A major culprit is the one the mayor already called out. Here’s another CDC statistic to consider: Between 2000 and 2007, suicide rates of 10-to-24-year-olds were stable, and then, suddenly, between 2007 and 2017, they grew by 57 percent. What happened?

That’s the question Alexy Makarin, a professor at MIT Sloan School of Management, wanted to answer. Together with colleagues in Italy and Israel, he paired 430,000 responses from the National College Health Assessment, an ongoing mental health survey on American campuses, with Facebook’s rollout of its social media platform across schools nationwide. Makarin found a “significant link” between students having access to Facebook and a steep decline in their mental health.

For one thing, social media is a never-ending supply of unsupervised content, which means children could easily be exposed to violent, extreme, or inappropriate photos and videos. Their algorithms also track users in a sophisticated fashion, triggering addictive behavior.

This is why 41 states and the District of Columbia are suing Meta, the company that owns both Facebook and Instagram, accusing the tech giant of running a “scheme to exploit young users for profit” and lying about safety, privacy, and other crucial concerns. Young teens searching for information about mental health may easily be targeted by the platform’s algorithm and flooded with content related to suicide and self-harm, which may increase the chance of suicidal ideation rather than help them heal.

A second culprit is closely related but not identical. A recent time-use survey sent parents into a tailspin when it found that teens spend eight-and-a-half hours daily on screens, or the equivalent of a 40-hour workweek. Naturally, each minute spent with the smartphone or tablet is not spent hanging out with friends, playing outdoors, attending a house of worship, or engaging in any activity that generates and builds a genuine, sustaining community.

Finally—and, for some, most troubling—there are the parents.

The era of “father and mother know best” is long behind us. Modern parents, influenced by anything from popular psychology books to television and popular culture, aren’t as comfortable as they used to be with setting boundaries and letting children try and fail. These days, moms and dads either walk on eggshells or want to be friends with their kids. Parents imagine that a relationship predicated on anything other than having fun together is likely too harsh and likely to stunt the child’s emotional growth.

It’s understandable, but it often disadvantages children when it comes to the uneasy but essential business of growing up, maturing, and developing a distinct personality. And, no surprise there, feeling oneself in a state of perpetual childhood can easily leave one fearful and depressed.

Sometimes, parents not jumping in leave opportunities for the child to problem-solve and gain mastery and confidence in their skills. Additionally, if a child fails, there can be a gentle inoculation of distress that is necessary to gain resilience in future situations—showing them that a lack of success did not end in complete catastrophe.

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So what can we do?

The first answer is that there are no easy answers. The second answer is that there’s no excuse for not trying. Here are a few ideas.

First, it’s time for parents to be parents again. Setting clear and reasonable boundaries, giving children space to experiment and make their own errors rather than rushing in to save them from the consequences of minor failures, and making sure the child knows a parent is not a pal but a protector, provider, and nurturer are solid bits of advice that ought to be considered very seriously.

And if you’re wondering what easy step you can take to both improve as a parent and safeguard your child’s mental health, here’s a suggestion: Have an honest conversation about social media. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach here, but the general rule is that the less time your son or daughter spends on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and the like, the better. If you cannot curb your child’s access to these platforms, reserve the right to monitor their activity and have difficult and necessary conversations whenever you spot pernicious or potentially harmful content.

Finally, help your kid build community. Lean into family and extended family and traditions. Encourage them to join a local youth sports league. Engage in a hobby with a community, like knitting or crafts. Look up opportunities to volunteer, which is a wonderful family activity that gives meaning and builds character. The possibilities are endless, but the goal is to learn to live with neighbors, friends, and loved ones. Hopefully, this shouldn’t be too difficult, especially if living in New York City.

These aren’t easy tasks, but failure is not an option. Our teens are telling us they need us. New Yorkers can step up to the challenge.