DWO: Driving While Old

Source: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels

“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.” — Pablo Picasso

In the decades I’ve been driving, I’m proud to say that I have a relatively unblemished record. As someone who routinely made a two-hour round-trip commute to and from work daily, I consider this a feather in my cap.

However, that cap has been losing some feathers recently due to the as-yet-still legal vehicular activity known as DWO (Driving While Old).

DWO, like its counterpart DWI, is driving while under the influence, only in this case, the disorienting substance is an aging brain that no longer shifts gears as quickly.

DWO is characterized by the following:

• Getting into your car without the keys.
• Forgetting to turn the headlights on despite realizing everyone else has theirs on.
• Forgetting an exit.
• Making the wrong exit.
• Slowing down in the middle of traffic while deciding which exit to take.
• Forgetting, if even just for an instant, where one was going.
• Forgetting, if even just for an instant, how one got to where one is.
• Locking the keys in the car upon arriving at one’s destination.
• Locking the keys in a running car upon arriving at one’s destination.
• Forgetting where one left the car after parking at said destination.

Given all these travel mishaps, it was refreshing to learn that, according to the American Automobile Association (AAA), senior drivers are the safest drivers on the road. Their research found that as we age, we’re more likely to wear our seat belts, not text while driving, and obey the speed limit, and less likely to drink and drive.

Even though we baby boomers are taking to the streets in record numbers, it seems unlikely that communities will designate special lanes on the highway for those of us who are graying and still driving. However, switching from HOV to OOV (Old Occupant Vehicle) lanes is probably not as crazy as it sounds.