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Key points
- A new report finds that Americans coped with pandemic stress in ways that reduced physical health, including weight gain and increased alcohol consumption.
- The collective trauma of the pandemic has left many with mood and anxiety issues, or a sense of brain fog that they just can’t shake.
- Taking steps to re-enter "normal life" slowly, rather than all at once, will reduce the chances of burnout and help restore pre-pandemic functioning.
The American Psychological Association just released a groundbreaking “Stress in America” report suggesting that life in 2020 was even more stressful than we knew.
In particular, Americans coped with pandemic stress in ways that reduced physical health, including weight gain and increased alcohol consumption, and reported increased sleep disturbance. Interestingly, 48 percent of vaccinated people reported experiencing anxiety about being around people when the pandemic ends. And particular groups of people appear to have been hit harder: essential workers, mothers, and parents of elementary-aged school children (52 percent of parents of elementary-aged children cited pandemic stress as a reason for increased alcohol consumption).
The collective pandemic trauma we’ve all faced has left many with mood and anxiety issues, and a sense of brain fog that they just can’t shake. These symptoms are awful for many.
At the same time, we’ve become accustomed to this mode of existence. After all, when you repeat a new behavior enough (which continually fires the same neuronal pathway in the brain), the new experience becomes a part of your brain’s system on a chemical level. This phenomenon is called neuronal plasticity.
In short, you may be accustomed to this new way of living—even if you don’t particularly like it. As a result, instead of bringing on excitement, the idea of “getting your life back,” may fill you with a sense of dread and even panic. This doesn’t mean you want the coronavirus to stay; it just means you need some help getting your brain on a new path.
Here are 10 tips for a healthy reentry:
1. Accept that coming out of pandemic stress is a process.
We entered the pandemic at a massive worldwide screeching halt. Remerging needs to be a more gradual process to preserve mental health. We are used to what has happened—thus, rushing ourselves makes everything all the more overwhelming and will cause some to give up entirely.
2. Ask yourself: How have you coped with the pandemic?
A helpful step is to consider how you’ve been living for the past year—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Many tell me they feel like they’re constantly busy going through the motions of life—but at the same time, not getting anywhere.
Some feel dulled out, not present, and disengaged. Many feel a lack of meaning and depression. And most people I talk to have developed some way of coping that is self-defeating—examples include zoning out by binge-watching TV, smoking cigarettes, overconsumption of pornography, abusing drugs and alcohol, workaholism, phone addiction, and destructive relationships.
Take a moment now to reflect on how you’re feeling and how you’ve coped with this last year. Is there anything you can identify that hasn’t been healthy and that you need to start changing?
3. Change unhelpful thoughts.
When we are vulnerable, the mind has a way of talking us out of doing the things that will help us to feel better. This is because we fear change. We don’t want to fail, disappoint others, or humiliate ourselves, so we stay stuck in our safe, although depressing, bubbles.
Examples of unhelpful thoughts include telling yourself there’s no point in taking on new challenges; that if something is hard to do, then you aren’t cut out for it; that people don’t like you, or that others see you as worthless; or, when you hit a setback, that you suck. Such thoughts often manifest as behavior—for example, when one bad thing happens, you give up on a task or experience completely.
Slow down and consider what your thoughts are telling you. Then, ask yourself if you would say that same thought to a dear friend who was going through a hard time. Work toward positive thinking by reminding yourself that if you work at it, your life and your mood can improve.
4. Conduct a daily grounding exercise.
Do you feel as if you’re perpetually moving and busy yet at the same time feel stuck and detached from your life? Do the days go by and you have no idea how you spent your time?
These symptoms are a natural result of the "Groundhog Day" existence that we’ve experienced and the chronic stress hormones pulsing through your brain for over a year now. Coming out of this trauma means learning to silence the noisy thought spirals in your brain.
Start with a daily grounding exercise. An easy, immediate (and effective) way to do this is to put your hand over your heart and just focus on the beating sensation as you breathe in and out. Do this for five minutes.
5. Create healthy routines.
Part of what reinforces stress and the pandemic malaise we experience is the colossal change to (or in some cases, the entire loss of) our day-to-day routine. This has contributed to existing in a constant state of reaction mode.
It’s time you take charge again. Start small: Commit to a 10-minute walk, 10 minutes of breathing, and 10 minutes of healthy, mindful eating each day.
6. Talk and connect with others.
One potent tool in remerging from trauma is to talk and connect. In particular, share what you’ve been through this year and what hardships you’re facing.
Many people I talk to feel embarrassed that they’ve gained weight, lost their job, or their kids have fallen behind in school. Remember, almost everyone has been touched in some way by the events of the last year. The more we can be real and support one another, the less alone and ashamed we feel. This helps people to feel hopeful and energetic about the future.
Remaining in your bubble and not expressing your feelings will keep you stuck in the past. Share your experiences with others, or consider talk therapy. To find a professional near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
7. Build self-compassion.
Many blame themselves for experiencing anxiety or depression, for gaining weight, for drinking too much, for inadequate parenting, for lost jobs and wages.
Sadly, you only had so much power over the events of 2020. Give yourself a break. Self-blame only reinforces feelings of helplessness and depression and will not motivate you to make a change.
Self-compassion and self-acceptance, on the other hand, help people to take on new challenges. Build self-compassion by reminding yourself that you’ve been through a collective trauma. You’re not alone. You got by the best you could under the circumstances. Accept yourself fully, just as you are in this moment. It is okay to be in this place. You will remerge.
8. It’s all about the baby steps, but do start stepping.
We entered this thing in a dramatic fashion, but exiting and rebuilding mental health needs to be a more gradual process. If you overwhelm yourself with returning to the office full time, shuttling your kids all over creation, and multiple social gatherings each week, you’re going to burn out—and you’re going to burn out fast.
Our brains are no longer used to our old lives, and we need time to get them back in shape. Do take baby steps. Try to grow and challenge yourself every day. For example, consider just going to your office and refamiliarizing yourself with the space. Clean off your desk, buy some new plants. Or, instead of agreeing to countless Zoom social events, challenge yourself to do one in-person activity. Instead of an overseas vacation, go to a neighboring state. Slow and steady, day by day, keep building up.
9. Gradually reinvigorate your life.
Even if you’ve been able to work or see friends and family, it's likely that your life has dwindled and become smaller and smaller over the past year. This contributes to that dulled-out, detached mode you may have come to know as normal. Boredom is a huge factor in "brain fog"—when our brains have no new stimulation, they become less sharp and engaged.
Conversely, an incredibly effective way to impact depression is to have pleasurable events to look forward to. Novelty—even in small doses—brings in new energy and clarity. Make an effort to see someone you haven't seen in a while to go for a walk or get a coffee. Or, engage in a creative pursuit like writing, painting, or ceramics. Start to learn a new language. Memorize a poem. Grow a garden.
10. Take a break.
This is not time for a “rip off the band-aid” approach. If it gets to be too much or you find yourself in situations that make you extremely anxious, take a break. Go back to your pandemic bubble for a day or two. But do come back out—life awaits.
