5 Tips to Help Kids Cope With the Sunday Scaries

Do you know that old, familiar, yet unwelcome feeling that sometimes starts to grow on Sunday evenings as the weekend ends? Your mood begins to plummet as anxiety creeps in. This, my friend, is known as the Sunday Scaries (also referred to as the Sunday Blues). In the same way that adults can experience this anticipatory anxiety and dread about the upcoming work week, children may feel this way about the school week ahead.

While these feelings tend to subside as the week progresses, they can return, almost like clockwork, every Sunday. For children, this may show up as anger, defiance, emotional outbursts, negativity, avoidance, restlessness, difficulty sleeping, or an upset stomach, just to name a few.

Their big feelings of worry, fear, or anxiety can be especially heightened when returning from longer breaks. From the unknown about the week ahead and the thought of being apart from you to difficult peers and bullying, there can be many reasons why your child may be feeling this apprehension.

Here’s how you can help a child cope with the Sunday Scaries:

1. Acknowledge their big feelings. Emotionally attuning to and validating our little people's feelings is key. At first, it is important just to be curious and avoid jumping right into problem-solving. We want to listen to understand what is worrying them truly. We can acknowledge their big feelings, let them know that it is OK to feel this way and reassure them that they will get through it.

2. Stay mindful of your emotional reactions. As supporters, it is important for us to be mindful of our own moods and emotional responses. If we approach Sundays with a sense of dread or anxiety week after week, our children may begin to pick up on these feelings. Being aware of your emotional responses means recognizing and acknowledging your feelings of stress, worry, or unease while demonstrating constructive ways to manage these big emotions.

3. Encourage emotional expression. Often, our feelings, thoughts, and emotions are tied up in a bundle of knots. Children, like adults, need healthy outlets. We need activities and strategies that help us gently pull the threads and untangle the fears and worries.

These releases can take many forms. It may take some experimenting to find what works for your child. Here are some examples:

• Breathe (deep breathing, box breathing, birthday candle breathing)
• Have them gently place a hand over the part of their body holding the emotion and send it some calm.
• Engage in positive self-talk (e.g., “I breathe in calm and breathe out worry” or “This feeling of worry is not the boss of me. I am the boss of me.”)
• Journal about it
• Go for a walk
• Talk it out
• Draw it out
• Dance it out

We can work to teach them how to pair a needed emotional expression with an activity that promotes a shift and eases some of the anticipatory anxiety about the week ahead.

4. Create a Sunday routine. Structure and routine provide a sense of predictability that can help lessen the anxiety and dread about an upcoming school week. Sundays are great opportunities for families to have some intentional time for connection and relaxation. Incorporating calming and restorative activities, such as walks, family meals, or games, can help prepare the heart, mind, and body for the start of a new week. Maintaining a consistent bedtime and nighttime ritual is also helpful.

You can even try allowing your child some autonomy and control by co-creating what these days could look like. Remember that this will look different for every family system.

5. Find something to look forward to. When we are experiencing feelings of anxiety, the negatives and "what ifs" can seem huge. Yet when we allow fear or anticipatory anxiety to prevail, we deplete our capacity to function and perform at an optimal level. To combat these feelings, try letting your little one look ahead at the calendar and help them see what to expect from their days that week. This can help eliminate the unknown that may be generating anxiety.

Having something to look forward to and be excited about can also help alleviate the Sunday Scaries. Is it their Wednesday evening soccer practice? Seeing a friend at school? Reading their favorite book at nighttime? A Friday night movie night?

Children need to believe that things can improve. When we are hope-filled, we have greater power to navigate challenging times.

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Questions to explore

I have compiled some questions caregivers can ask of themselves and of their children to help cope with the Sunday Scaries and the big emotions involved. I invite you to explore these questions with genuine curiosity, embracing compassion and leaving judgment behind.

Try asking yourself:

• Have I validated and normalized my child’s feelings?
• Am I modeling healthy, positive thinking about the week ahead?
• Do our Sundays involve activities that are fun yet fairly calm and low-stress?
• Do we keep consistent sleep schedules?
• Did we have enough time together to connect over the weekend?
• Can we create a schedule so everyone knows what to expect during the week?
• Is there a routine in place that effectively supports my child's needs as she transitions from the weekend (or the break) into the school week?

Try asking your child:

• Where in your body are you feeling these big emotions? Is it a rock or butterflies in your stomach? A tightness in your jaw? A lump in your throat?
• Have you had this feeling before?
• What do you think these big feelings are trying to tell you?
• What can you do to process and release these feelings? A breathing exercise? Talk? Move your body? Draw? Write it out?
• What can I do to support you?
• What is something we can do on Sundays together?
• What is something you are looking forward to this week? Can we find something to look forward to?

As a parent and supporter, I appreciate that trying to meet our children’s needs and emotional wellness is an enormous undertaking. Thankfully, you do not have to do this alone. The program I love recommending is the Big Heart Journey. This is the best program for younger learners I have come upon that truly equips children to deal with all the big feelings.

Trust that Sundays will become less intimidating as you learn to navigate these big emotions together.