Harnessing the Power of Social Awareness

Emotional intelligence refers to our ability to understand and manage our own emotions and those of others. According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, social awareness is a key element of emotional intelligence. Social and emotional skills can greatly impact the quality of our lives, our relationships, and our work.

We are social beings. We are meant to be in community with others. Being able to connect, communicate, and collaborate with others influences all areas of our personal and professional lives. Social awareness is the ability to read the room, see things from other people’s perspectives, sense and understand the emotional needs of others, and show empathy.

Social awareness develops during childhood as we learn to pick up on social cues, norms, and expectations through our interactions with those around us. Our social awareness is shaped and deepened further as we begin to engage with diverse communities and navigate more complex situations and environments.

Recognizing the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others doesn’t always come naturally. Learning to recognize and understand our own emotions can be helpful to be able to understand the feelings of others. I shared some practices that can help us become more emotionally self-aware in my previous post.

Effective relationship management, or knowing how to interact with people in a “well way,” often relies on strong social awareness. For example, while conflicts inevitably arise in relationships, resolving them becomes easier when both individuals recognize the emotions and perspectives involved. The reality is that lacking social awareness can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and relationship difficulties, while high social awareness is more likely to contribute to healthier, more meaningful, and fulfilling relationships.

Here are some benefits of strong social awareness:

• Supports effective communication
• Promotes empathy, compassion, and understanding
• Builds trust and connection
• Strengthens relationships
• Supports constructive conflict resolution
• Facilitates effective leadership
• Improves team dynamics

How can we build our social awareness?

Now that we know some of the benefits of greater social awareness, let’s explore what we can do to improve in this area.

1. Self-reflect

Reflecting on our own emotional experiences can be foundational for understanding the emotions of others. When we are more attuned to our own feelings, we are better able to anticipate and empathize with the emotions of those around us. Take time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, and even consider how your moods and actions impact those around you.

Greater emotional regulation also allows us to respond empathetically and constructively to the emotions of others. In my previous post, I shared some strategies that can help ensure we are constructively expressing our emotions and responding to situations appropriately.

2. Be present

So often, so much of our day-to-day lives is spent on autopilot. It can feel as though we are just going through the motions and multitasking our lives away. Yet, to be completely attentive to others and successfully navigate social interactions, we need to be present. Try showing up to social interactions undistracted and communicating with your body language that you are present. Notice the impact of this greater sense of presence.

3. Practice active listening

We are often quick to jump to advice and solutions when someone shares something with us in conversation. As they are speaking, we tend to be problem-solving or pre-loading what we will say back to them. This suggests that we are listening to reply, not to understand. Instead, I invite you to be completely present and truly work to understand the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and perspective, asking open-ended questions to learn more.

Emotional Intelligence Essential Reads

The Multigenerational Impact of Emotional Intelligence

To Better Engage Conflict: Three Ways to Disengage

4. Observe

When we are socially aware, we pay attention to both the verbal and nonverbal cues of those with whom we interact. Noticing tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language provides us with deeper insight into the emotions and perspectives of others.

Being mindful of the dynamics and norms, both spoken and unspoken, in different social contexts is also key to adjusting our reactions and responding appropriately. In a work setting, for example, social awareness in action could look like a leader extending a project deadline after picking up on the energy of the room or letting the junior person speak first to empower them to contribute their ideas and ensure their voice is heard.

5. Practice communicating with empathy and compassion

Being attuned to the emotions, needs, and perspectives of others is key to building connections. Showing genuine interest and care, validating emotions, and providing empathetic support without judgment can make a world of difference. It is also important to know that empathizing with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them or that you need to influence the outcome of the situation, rather, it demonstrates understanding and compassion for their perspective, feelings, and experiences. When we get this right, the other person feels so heard, seen, and validated that the relationship is instantly strengthened.

Here are a few of my favourite ways to show support for others:

• "Do you need me to listen, offer advice, or intervene?"
• "Do you need comfort or solutions right now?"
• "What is one thing I could do right now that wouldn’t make this any worse?"

Holding space for others using this three-step process:

• Acknowledge: Communicate that you understand the problem or situation.
• Validate: Reflect their feelings and the impact of the situation back to them.
• Make three offers: Suggest three things you can do in the moment that are within your capacity.

Being socially aware requires us to use many skills simultaneously. We need to be mindful of the context of the situation, body language, tones, and verbal and nonverbal cues, all while being present in the moment, managing our own emotions, and anticipating our own scripts for responding. Cultivating social awareness can be effortful, yet the rewards of impactful interactions and deep and fulfilling relationships make the effort worthwhile.

Never underestimate the power of being socially aware.